well, basically... something that is bothering me, which is about my problems manupilating my minds.. or is it just too much stress around.. i've been dating, doing report, and so. this may distract my emotional feelings. but this not only happen during first timers... but late 2007... it happens again... im seriously worried of myself. some individuals tryied to help me.. but i turned like a monster and screwed every single world they said... for an instance, friend A needed some opinion on another friend B. for no reasons, i got mad because he never asked me for some opinion.. in my mind, "why don't he asked me... cause im here to talk to." and i have serious problem with people who told me whether in chatspace or phone. like [i need help from friend B, but he was out.] when someone tells this to me... i feel like, im here. ask me then. next time don't mention that to me.. infront of me.. its my emotioonal who controls me.. and some more i have this radiation disease... which is real or just illusions. its like between alpha, beta and gamma. each stage contains harmful emotional facts. just wanted to apologize if for example, i scolded someone for no reason. i mean if he/she did something annoying to me... and it may be dangerous... i might grab something sharp ... thats for gamma... i think thats all for now.. i hope there's people like a doctor who possibly help me...